Little Poul was the first cat I ever TNR'ed and the begining of a huge work with the community cats in the area. She was somewhat feral but trusted me enough to be close to me most days. This little cat came would sit and wait in a tree for me almost every night to bring her dinner. Over the years I got a very close relationship with her, even though I was never able to touch her. But she sure touched my heart. The last time she came by to eat was October 27th 2019. Then she disappeared into thin air.
Tried to stay calm
Little Poul would often be gone for a couple of days, so I had learned not to panic if I didn't see her for a while. A few times she has even been gone for a couple of weeks, so even when I started to truly worry I tried to keep it cool. Earlier this year she was gone for quite a while and was so sure she was gone for good, so I griefed her. And then she suddenly showed up. So I didn't want to go through that again and pushed my worries aside best I could.
Just around the time Little Poul disappeared, something else happened in my personal life. My mother in law was dying from cancer and she passed away just two weeks after I last saw Little Poul. So while I was looking for Little Poul I had some other stuff to deal with as well. I didn't want my worries about Little Poul to take any space in my husbands life at that point and also, I just couldn't deal with two losses simultaneously. So I pushed aside the loss that could wait and wasn't confirmed.
I did search high and low for Little Poul and even had some assistance from a telepathic. Unfortunatly we didn't get any answers on Little Poul's whereabouts (dead or alive). Then I put up wanted posters and handed out flyers in the area. Of course I used Facebook groups for lost pets as well.
One day there was a respons on my poster. A man wrote to me that he had seen a cat like Little Poul, lying dead on the side of the road. He had passed it on bike ceveral times, before it dissapeared. He never stopped to check the cat, but he was sure that it was the same cat as the one in my pictures. In addition, he had seen it in the area where Little Poul resides and the time also matched the time she stopped showing up at the feeding station.
My landlord told me that a man had dropped by one day and asked for a bag. He had found a dead cat by the road, not far from our house and he wanted to move it. My landlord didn't consider that it could be one of my cats and just gave him a bag. This happened around the same time and in the same spot as the other mans story.
So no one checked the cat for markings or chip, took a picture and shared it on Facebook or anything like that. So I can't say I know for sure that the cat was my Little Poul, but everything sure points in that direction. I was hoping to find the man with the bag and get confirmation and knowledge of her where abouts, but I have had no such luck.
The road from here
I always thought that I would one day have to pick up LIttle Poul from the road. I have watched her cross the road many times and it always terrified me. I knew she was a smart little girl, but even the best and most experienced ones, can get hit eventually. All the times where she was gone for more than a few days, I've been out checking the side of the roads. And every time I passed a white bag or piece of flamingo, I had to go back and check if it was her. So the idea that Little Poul would end her days here is not new or shocking to me. I did, however, alway imagine that I would find her and bring her home. I did not imagine that she would lie somewhere close to me for days, before someone else picked her up and didn't consider trying to find the owner. My only comfert in all this, is that she was lying close to the road. This means that her death was quick or else she would have walked further away from the road.
The whole reason I adopted two deaf cats, is because I live on a very busy road and the freeway is close by as well. I would never adopt a cat and let it out in this particular area. It's simply too risky. So I decided on my first indoor cats and chose handicats that has a reason not to go outside in the first place. Now, I can't do anything about the cats that are born in the wild out here. I try to limit the birth of more by TNR, but after that all I can do is give them a better life as long as they are here. I can't do anything about the road.
Little Poul's Place
It was important to me to bury LIttle Poul. Like any other loved pet, she deserved that her owner took care of her last resting place. Someone else seems to have done this, so I don't have a burial ground. I have made a memorial for her though. I got a stone with a paw print and a P carved in it and placed it by the foot of her tree. She left many paw prints in this place and in my heart.
Little Poul's place is hereby marked and sometimes I light a little candle for her, hoping she will find her way home, in whatever shape or form she has taken.
Whenever I went out to feed the community cats, I always said to my husband "I'm going down out to Little Poul". Even when there was 20 different cats to feed. Now I just say, that I'm going out to the cats. But I still go out to Little Poul every night. She was a very special cat to me and I know she was to many of my followers as well.
An illustration in her honor
I had wanted to get an illustration of Little Poul for a while and just before I put up the wanted posters, I found someone to do it. I wanted a drawing of Little Poul in her tree (a holly) and I wanted it to show her special tail and heart marking. I think Line captured my vision very well and I really appreaciate this cute illustration of her. I have put it on various merchandise items that I sell in my webshop. The money goes to an organisation that works with cats in Denmark and thus Little Poul continues to help better the life of other cats.
Little Poul is very missed - where ever she is ❤️